Am I expecting too much from myself?

Everyday of my life I'm terrified that people find me uninteresting or no fun. I'm afriad that people think I'm not funny. I'm almost positive that people are thinking: "Damn that girl doesn't talk about funny things or do exciting things. She isn't talking that much. I'm bored with this girl. I don't love her or want to be around her. She has no personality. She's just not a person who is likeable and should be hung around. Why would I love her?" I believe I should be so many things. I should be funny, fun, happy, exciting, extroverted, interesting, and a never shut up kind of person. I'm unhappy with my life completely. I've already tried commiting suicide because I feel worhtless and pointless in this world. Like it wouldn't matter to anyone if I left anyways. I want to be that girl that everyone says ooh I love her so much she's so cool and fun, I love hanging out with her. She's so funny. I could live with her and never get bored. I've tried changing myself in the past four months. But it turns out I feel worse than i ever have in my life. I think I was more fun when I wasn't trying to be. Now I'm miserable. I hate myself. I used to be best friends with this guy adn we had so much fun together. I used to have a boyfriend. But he dumped me adn I think its cuz i didnt show him enough of a good time. I've had a long past of being a people pleaser. I've also only been friends with people who were of a lower status than me. But I just feel the need to leave or to be gone because I feel unappreciated and like nobody enjoys my presence.